Vienna waits.

This past month has really given me one hell of a ride. I've been going nonstop, like some sort of Energizer bunny, beating my own drum and powering full speed ahead. This tempo, though irregular and hard even for me to put into pattern, has seemed to become my new normal:

 I've conquered finals and tied up loose ends for the close of the semester. I journeyed a four day trip to visit the many pieces of home that still lie in sweet ol' Chicago. I enjoyed a blissful week of Daytona sun and detox. 

Powered through three days full of airport frenzy (all with painfully early wake-up calls), 10 hours alone in a car (which if you're curious, becomes equal parts boring and hilarious in quite a short amount of time. I  volley between screaming and dancing along with my ipod and giving outrageous/inspiring monologues to the kind audience of.. me). All this and a few glorious days of Buffalo friends and family sprinkled in between.

And now, finally, I've boarded a train headed straight for adventure (it's my first one, besides the L in Chicago!) bounding towards my final destination in Wildwood. 

I've fumbled through support raising. Attended two beautiful dinners for ministries that continue to grow closer to my heart. Looked down countless possible paths for my future. I've made phone calls, and game calls that are defining my future and the direction I'm envisioning for it. 

Want for a perfect future and a perfect plan lead me down so many roads. In some way or another, I want it all. I want to be able to pursue all my passions -all possible futures. In that, I find myself running crazily in seventeen directions. Being pulled back and forth between so many venues, each pulling against the next. Anxiety sets in and I find myself back where I started, and very, very confused. 

  

It is so easy to get anxious. So easy to look at all these things and want to chase hard after them. To expect things to happen and be easy to accomplish and happen exactly when you want them to.

As I'm bounding towards my summer project in New Jersey (and now starting it as it's been two days since I began writing), Billy Joel's Vienna comes on my iTunes and I can't help but put it on repeat.
and repeat. and repeat...


This song has so much ambition, passion, drive.
But so much getting ahead of yourself. So much pressure and expectance, and I can definitely relate.

Slow down, you crazy child...

Here is where I will plant my roots for the summer. Set my feet on the ground, dig my heels into the sandy earth and let the outward momentum slow to a stop. With two hilariously overpacked suitcases, I make my way towards the coast with hopes of revelation,  purpose, and fun -all fed by  a gracious, glorious love. A love that is patient, and nurturing and careful. One that pays attention to all the details and works everything -big and small, and sometimes ridiculously messy, out for the good of those who love Him.
And if there's one sure thing that I've learned through all of this it's that I do love Him. Imperfectly, but I love Him. So so much.
And in that love I must remind myself that He is deserving of my trust. And He will indeed work all things out for my good, and the timeline is part of that process. There is no need for impatience when there is trust.

Slow down, you're doin' fine. You can't be everything you want to be before your time..

So here's to adventure and it coming in it's own time.

Vienna waits.